Childhood Trauma

It is not new if I write many life destinations lead to what we were in our younger ages or how we were treated.

Whatever you see in people reflects the fact of what they have been through in their childhood.

Abuse wether it is physical or mental leaves bigger and deeper scars.

When we are just a child, we are not able to comprehend and make sense of the events.

We just believe what we see and how they make us feel.

I see parents take children easily. They had the tougher parents so they would probably think that if they can get over, their children can also.

The real point is the children don't have to feel what their parents feel or the parents don't have to treat their children as they have been treated.

But the real question is does our childhood determine our future?

It is not easy to get over traumas and the decision you make under that pressure determines your future.

Some decide to break this with going on with their life, finding peace of mind and moving on; on the other hand, some others break it by giving the same pain to other human beings so that he/she won't be alone suffering.

Basically what determines which person finds peace and which not?

Is it the choice we make?

Is it the mindset that makes them different?

I have seen people become the best version of themselves and I have also seen people become the most scariest version of themselves just by suffering the same amount of trauma.

I have known that suffering will give you lesson, but not everyone is willing to take it.

The point is we don't have to determine a person demon of Angel by what they have become, but by what they have chosen when they were in the edge of falling.

It is our choices that make one different from another.

Back then when I was just a girl I had my bad days, I was not logical but I was highly emotional and I always had the believe that I am alone and that I lack love and understanding.

I faced some really bad times which I will share eventually, I felt alone and I had this thirst to be loved ,so I give people the love I was willing to have, well it doesn't go this way.

Years now that I am still alone, but kindly happy by it, see that how needy I was.

For just getting attention I took risk of putting myself in stake.

But I also made a decision. My decision was to go on and prove everything that have been said about me wrong.

I chose the path that will lead me to a place where I could find peace.

I lost many things in the process. I lost the feeling of being happy truly then I realized that happiness is peace and calmness.

Where I could breath and feel my lungs, where I feel at ease by the chirping of birds, where I see sun rising and giving me a warm hello.

I don't need to laugh out loud sometimes. I just need to feel and see how blessed I am.

So I think it's what we choose to do with our lives. Bad times will give you a hard time. It will break you. It will break your heart into pieces untill the gem that is behind glows and shines.

It takes a whole lot time, but it is worth it because you are worth it.

Husna Nabizada